The times we turn to therapy are when we have encountered a situation that we were not prepared for, maybe it's something that happened suddenly or the it's a realization that the life we are living in is no longer tolerable. Either way, we get confronted with an experience that feels unsafe and we don't yet have the resources to handle it. Often there is a process of attempting to overcome the painful experience through the strategies we already have, but those often don't quite fit (example: ignoring the problem, having a drink which then turns to too many too often, trying to control the circumstance and becoming anxious, etc.). This is the time that we look for "help." We look for someone to join us and expand our repertoire of coping skills.
I work primarily in two ways with individuals. One is to provide some useful resources, such as skills for addressing areas of distress,
- "What do I do in the moment when I feel depressed or anxious?" I can teach you skills for that.
- "Why does my co-worker always respond hostilely to me?" Using my trained eye, I can offer my impressions of you when you speak, and identify ways that you unconsciously portray yourself to others.
- "I can't take all the stress in my life!!" I can offer you a place to process your stress and feel validated, safe, and comforted.
The other way that I work goes deeper. We explore the tattered
- Perhaps your experiences growing up taught you that you can get the help you want by being louder and more aggressive about your needs. However, now you are finding that people are turned off by you and leave when you feel distressed.
- Maybe you were taught you had to be silent and not disturb others with your feelings, and now you're not sure you feel anything. Or any of dozens of different ways of coping.
Together, we sort through the events that taught you these "safety plans" and help you adjust your perspective and approach to getting the help you need.
Make time to meet me. Contact me.